30-year-old guy asks 28-year-old woman he took on a 1st date to pay him back $3.25 for the fries they ate, date refuses to pay it: 'He said it’s about fairness and that’s just how he is.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Aug 27, 2025 8:00 AM EDT

We've all been on bad dates, and we've all been the reason that the date went bad, even if it's difficult to admit it. One time, I went on a date with someone, and the only thing we could really manage to discuss was fast food restaurants in the American South. Now I love going on about Sonic and Whataburger, but those are not the best foundations to build a romantic relationship upon. 

I have certainly been the bad guy on dates. I've made a grimace before paying a large bill, which is lame to do because then it puts pressure on the other person to split the bill, and I don't want to do that! Everyone should feel like they're getting taken care of once in a while, and it feels good to be the reason someone else gets a nice free meal. Unfortunately, not everyone feels the same way. 

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  • The dude in this story is not a gentleman. Instead of covering the cost of the first date he went on with this woman, he requested that she pay him back on Venmo for half the cost of the fries. I'd understand splitting the meal in the moment, or confessing that he wasn't in a financial position to date, but he literally asked if she could pay him back less than four dollars. If you can't afford $6.50 for French fries, you've got some serious problems, and there's a good chance they aren't financial.

  • 01
    Duk
    via Kenny Eliason

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02

    Am I overreacting for feeling insulted my date Venmo-requested me $3 for half the fries?

    I (28F) went on a first date with a guy (30M). We got burgers and fries to share, and I offered to cover the tip since he paid for the meal. This morning, I woke up to a Venmo request for $3.25 with the note "half the fries." At first I thought it was a joke, but nope, he was serious. I declined it and
    via u/Be4rp4wt00
  • 03
    texted him that it was petty. He responded saying I was overreacting, that "it's about fairness" and "that's just how he is." Now I feel turned off and honestly insulted. My friends are split, some think I'm being petty too, others think it's a red flag. Am I overreacting?
    via u/Be4rp4wt00
  • 04
    woman in black crew neck t-shirt
    via Jassir Jonis

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 05
    Ok-Soup-514 If people want to pay their own meals, great. That's truly being fair if both agree to it. But let's be real here: even if ge wanted to split for fairness sake... this is tacky because it's such a minimal amount of money. It's $3 bucks. It just shows how petty he is. Anyone with a brain knows that requesting three bucks back will 100% guarantee no future date. He's telling you that the $3 is more valuable than your company. If he's so petty then fine. Send it along with a message to
    via u/Ok-Soup-514
  • 06
    Pipe Revolutionary101 I mean for ffs my friend bought my tacos yesterday, half off so $6... I said thanks and kept it moving. That's how our relationship works just reciprocation, if you want an excel sheet to make sure you both pay 50% expect a prenup too. First date.... Run.
    via u/PipeRevolutionary101
  • 07
    CaptainJay313 it's not the prenup, it's that he'll for tat everything. we watched your show for 27 minutes, now you must play video games with me for 27 minutes. I took the trash out last week, it's your turn this week, I don't care that you have the flu and get dizzy just standing up, fair is fair and it's your turn. honestly though, I'm guessing he just doesn't want a second date but doesn't have the balls to say: hey, I wasn't really feeling a connection, but I really hope you find your perso
    via u/CaptainJay313
  • 08
    Fourdogsaretoomany I had a friend who was transactional like this. She invited me over for dinner, and after, I was chatting with her live-in boyfriend (supernice guy). I'd offered to help with the dishes (there weren't many, we had take out, so just plates, cups, untensils, and a large salad bowl), and she said no.
    via u/Fourdogsaretoomany
  • 09
    A sink with a couple of dishes on it
    via Nathan Dumlao

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 10
    But then, about five minutes later, she turned to her boyfriend and said, "I did mine and Fourdogs' dishes, so yours are left," and walked away from the sink. I glanced in the sink, one plate, one fork, one glass, and the salad bowl. Thinking really?!?
    via u/Fourdogsaretoomany
  • 11
    GreasyExamination I know a couple of friends of my friends. Ive met them a few times, theyre married now and kinda young, like 25. Apparently, they split everything. Like, they wach buy their own groceries, cook their own food, even split the fridge up. And theyre married, its so unthinkable for me
    via u/GreasyExamination
  • 12
    Professional-Air2123 I think the biggest issue is that he didn't talk about wanting the money back, to pay for the meal 50/50, but instead waited for the next day to send a message to demand money back - no conversation or anything. Pretty cold and r de.
    via u/Professional-Air2123
  • 13
    babygotbandwidth This is the issue. He wanted to feel like the cool guy covering the cost in the moment, but then sent a Venmo request for a random amount without a word. Just a lot of mixed messages. It's okay to split costs, just be up front about it.
    via u/babygotbandwidth
  • 14
    Basiccargo6 It seems like he was hoping for something to happen on the date and when it didn't he wanted what he invested back.
    via u/Basiccargo6
  • 15
    Outrageous_Book2135 Agreed. If someone is gonna be petty over 3$ imagine how much worse it could get.
    via u/Outrageous_Book2135
  • 16
    MelsAlterEgo8 I would send him the money for my whole meal with a public message on Venmo to keep his petty a away from me. Let all of his contacts see it. I'll match petty any day. Lol If he wanted money, he should have taken it when you offered it. I'm so curious as to why he was ok with paying for the burger, but not half of the fries. It's not like you ordered steak and lobster while he ordered a burger. I always offer to pay for my half and/or tip if they decline. I never expect a free meal
    via u/MelsAlterEgo8
  • 17
    ceciliameireles If he paid for the burgers, asking her to pay half of the fries is probably some sort of test. A friend of mine went through something similar. The guy she was seeing asked her to pay him back like 5 bucks for a coffee and when she was taken aback by it he told her he was testing her to see if she was only after his money. Turns out the guy was a redpill weirdo. Funny thing is, the guy was broke. Dude was worried about gold diggers while working in retail
    via u/ceciliameireles
  • 18
    whoopsieProduct-1698 It's always dudes with no gold to dig worrying about gold-diggers.
    via u/whoopsieProduct-1698
  • 19
    fyrelyte11 Red flag most definitely. Especially with his statement of "that's just how I am". That statement should always have you running. It is always comes with red flag behavior, followed by all manners of toxic fuckery. People who use that statement are very committed to their toxic behavior traits, and will always lie and manipulate to justify it.
    via u/fyrelyte11
  • 20
    Existing_Guard9742 NOR. You offered to cover the tip. Which was probably worth more than $3.25. Then wants half the cost of the fries. At 30 years old!?! What's next? Fancy dinner then sticks you with the bill at the end of the meal? I would send the $3.25, say nice knowing you, and block. Move on and find a partner who isn't so petty.
    via u/Existing_Guard9742
  • 21
    Inked NerdyMum Everyone telling you to pay not realizing that by doing so you are just passing him and doubling it to the next woman. DO NOT PAY IT Block him and move on.
    via u/InkedNerdyMum
  • 22
    kileymk "So sorry - if I had known money was that tight for you I would have suggested a different first date!"
    via u/kileymk
  • 23
    snark_attak What's the real message here? "I wanted to buy the meal, but decided that I didn't enjoy myself enough to pay for the whole thing"? "I'm so broke, that $3 is a big deal"? "I'm too weak-willed or vain (or whatever?) to ask up front (or even when you offered to get the tip) to split the bill"? "I'm setting the stage to be able to ask you for money throughout this relationship"?
    via u/snark_attak
  • 24
    Obviously there was some discussion of who was paying since you offered to get the tip, so if he wanted you to chip in more, that was the time to ask, not the next day when he realized (perhaps) that things didn't go as well as he wanted (or something?) If he offered - to pay — which seems to be the case— then it's not about fairness. Sounds more like buyer's remorse. Maybe in his mind it seems fair to ask, because he thought paying for the meal entitled him to something he didn't get?
    via u/snark_attak
  • 25
    At 28 and 30, you're obviously not high school kids (which you might expect it from) and he's probably not a broke a college student (from whom it might be marginally understandable). Seems like a major red flag to me, whatever the reason.
    via u/snark_attak

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venmo dating fails sharing bad date bad dates french fries reddit story pay back fries dinner food reddit thread Reddit payback money dating money problems
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